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July 26th, 2005

05:17 pm

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July 25th, 2005

06:24 pm - new song... I never meant to hurt you Never meant to say the words I never meant to hurt you Never meant to drag you here with me Can't apologise enough Can never make it up Love you more than life itself I don't want to breathe RPT 1 Spiralling madness, sadness Don't follow me into the dark It means enough Don't mean too much RPT 1 Love you, hate you Need you, want you Can't live without you Never want to see you again RPT 1 Please kill me Make me live again Insanity, howling, crawling Pulls me to the floor RPT 1 Current Mood: accomplished

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June 29th, 2005

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November 29th, 2004

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November 5th, 2004

07:40 pm - long week. short post. hehe last house on the left was... interesting. company was brilliant, hehe :P hosies again today, fourth time in three days... must... stop... going... to... strip club... also, must stop downing scotch and dry at lunchtime whilst at strip club. must remember to eat. must remember to nag SMH on monday. must remember to wake up on monday. must sleep before monday. goodbye! off to fountain gate with melliodoraness... Current Mood: crazy

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November 2nd, 2004

05:33 pm if i don't get out and mainline a bottle of something very soon i'm going to murder someone... waiting till saturday... all this bullshit has depressed me so much. i have no idea who i can rely on for anything, who i can trust. i need a hug. :( Current Mood: depressed Current Music: daysgobykeithurban

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September 21st, 2004

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August 13th, 2004

03:58 pm apparently it WASN'T the kiddies next door that thought i was an alien. it was random feral children from god-knows-where. did fuck all today, really. got dressed, went up the street with kandise, met people, sent faxes, had lunch, (probably not in that order). all these people i know are pregnant. its scary. i hate kids. they freak me out. and keep trying to touch my clothes when their hands are filthy. meh. kandise, i love you. take me to earthcore? *begs* Current Mood: crazy Current Music: jossstonethesoulsessions

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August 5th, 2004

10:53 am why do i bother getting up in the morning? i know that the new day will be just as bad as the old one, if not worse. my psychiatrist says i have morning issues. many more profound announcements of that nature and i'll have psychiatrist issues. i'm sick, again. knocked to the ground by a pounding head ache and an attempted demazin overdose. mommy dearest last night told me i was so fucking hopeless i might as well delete myself. every time i try to have a reasonable exchange with her she ends up repeating the same old lines, the negative reinforcement. i KNOW i'm unemployed and broke, being told twenty times a day isn't going to make it any better. i do my best. its all i can do, really. Current Mood: depressed

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June 14th, 2004

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03:24 pm - very, very bored... *HUGS* TOTAL! give easternrains more *HUGS* Get hugs of your own all apologies

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June 13th, 2004

09:48 am - Play sausage! Who has the longest? {length:39}-{nightway}-{w23}-{cherita}-{goldy_kin}-{besyonya}-{alexej}-{ivand}-{ta_tochka}-{gosha}-{candelabra}-{nikon_nlg}-{dziro}-{ven_ture}-{xnrrn}-{allegroconmolto}-{soulscode}-{glassapples}-{traveller}-{shaenie}-{baggers}-{cerulgalactus}-{stimpson}-{ffenest}-{teawithbears}-{piccalo}-{snewzn} - {bayliss} - {x_ariadne_x} - {rikku_aeris} - {kaliehead} - {dolby_surreal} - {mattbatten1204} - {the_wire_legend} - {tasha_vampire} - {gothbox} - {stabbity} - {equivoke} - {pokey_sword} - {easternrains} To join, enter your nickname and press the button. The sausage will post itself automatically. You have to be logged in and have Javascript enabled. created by nightway username:

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June 12th, 2004

03:49 pm i've just realised why i've felt so odd these past couple of days, felt like there was something missing. for three days and two glorious fucking nights, i was free. i was out of mobile range, and neglected to give anyone the emergency number for where i was. i stayed up till absolutely ridiculous hours of the morning, downing coldies and getting all philosophical with a group of people i really like. i couldn't hear a car anywhere. at night i could see the stars. when i was walking home from work last night, i missed the stars. all i could see was the blackness with a few feeble dots of grey sprinkled across it. it was depressing. i am depressed. i'm so tired of where i am. i want to go home now. Current Mood: drained

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June 5th, 2004

04:35 pm - happy birthday to meeeeee-heeeeeeeee NOTE: z No smoking around easternrains. Thankyou for your co-operation. Username: From Go-Quiz.com uh... right. happy birthday to me happy birthday to me happy birthday to meee-heeeeee happy birthday to me just imagine the out of tune, losing my voice, coughing and whining sound of my voice. or rather, don't. i fucking hate winter. I have this horrible attack of angst-ridden poetry coming on. i'll endeavour to spare you, but there's no guarantees. also, i think i'm losing the ability to spell. i think it might go with the hair... perhaps bright purple isn't my colour. pictures will happen if i can beat my camera up enough for it to work. Current Mood: crazy Current Music: inxs/jimmybarnesgoodtimes

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June 1st, 2004

10:47 am - i do believe i have something better to do now... or not okay, that last entry was depressing, but necessary. so on to the happier stuff. sunday night was good. went out with chris. who smoked my cigarettes, drank my beer and whinged when i didn't share my speed. but apart from that... a good night. we went to the glasshouse, where i got up and massacred joan jet for my contribution to the night's kareoke extravanganza. got home yesterday at five. which gave me just enough time to have a shower and something to eat before i had to go to work. boohoo. now i'm at tafe, i've just finished the exercise i had to do, and now i do believe i have to return to class. or... i might get something to eat and ignore the idea of going to class. i think i like the second option better. my shoulder's playing up again, keeps clicking in and out of place, giving me pain. i should have stayed in bed... Current Mood: blah

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10:38 am you said to me, there comes a time when keeping up with some people just isn't worth it, some people just drain you too much. well, sorry honey, but i've decided to take you advice. i can't afford you any more. i love you dearly, but you suck me dry, financially and emotionally. every time we go out, i pay for you to get in, i pay for your drinks, i pay for your cigarettes. for every problem, no matter how minor, you demand my time and my energy. this is gonna sound selfish as fuck, but i'm beyond caring. its nothing particularly personal, but i need to think about my own needs sometime. i know you have problems at the moment, but they've been brought about by your own irresponsibility and stupidity, and you have to face up to that before i'll even think about seeing you again. Current Mood: sad Current Music: theelephantmedleymoulinrouge

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May 26th, 2004

10:08 am my favourite black shirt came out of the wash a distinct shade of grey. my dad finished the last of the coffee before i got to the kitchen. i broke the toaster. my sister took my cigarettes. i only have five bucks in my wallet. it rained while i was walking to tafe. cruel, cruel morning. Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: aperfectcircle

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May 24th, 2004

03:48 pm - the lesbian experiment failed *i have something to tell you #oh? *yeah... um... the lesbian experiment failed. #uh huh. what went wrong? *she didn't have what i was looking for in a man. #wha...? oh... 11 days till the bet finishes. i thought it'd be easy, y'know, only a guy could stress out over 40 days of no... y'know. uh... WRONG! my sister asked me if i'd had pms for the last three weeks... i just managed to resist the urge to tell her i just wasn't getting any. mind you, the look on her face would almost have been worth the eternal torment i'd have to endure... great, glorious news. sam's back in melbourne! apparently the lack of bundy to be found in port moresby really made PNG suck. going to see him this weekend, he's staying in south yarra at dave the yobbo's new place. haven't spoken to dave the yobbo since the star wars RP incident... scary shit. i have to work tonight. waaah! i don't wanna, you can't make me... you're paying me how much??? okay. i've spent all day at tafe, no idea why, should have pissed off home this morning when it first became apparent that today would not be at all productive... but at least i got smokes. cheers kev! every one else has a life that they're hiding from me. DON'T YOU!!!! meh, keep hiding your active and flourishing social lives, it makes me feel better. this really is a horrible thing to inflict on the world... Current Mood: cranky Current Music: b52sloveshack

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May 19th, 2004

03:25 pm - welcome to fountain lakes... tafe is letting me on livejournal again. i am thankful. i'm tired. for once my brain has been in use all day, and now it HURTS. there is a woman near me who sounds like kath (kath & kim, for all you odd foreign people). scary thing is, i don't think she's putting it on. yep, that'll be foigne, thanks. people are writing references for me. i'm really hoping nothing they write is the truth. *prays* i'm once again venturing into the jungle of legitimate, main stream employment. watch out for me at a checkout near you. if the uni plan doesn't work out, i'll be looking for full time stuff. don't ask where, i don't know. i'm so sick of these days. boring, grey, nothing happening days. fifteen days till the bet's over, but who's counting? i feel so isolated sometimes. i need a hug. Current Mood: blah Current Music: timekeepersdawn

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May 14th, 2004

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